


Let's Pretend That We are the Same

by reeby10



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Kissing, Sibling Incest, infidelity (presumably)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 13:20:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11647380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reeby10/pseuds/reeby10
Summary: Narcissa is hurting and Bellatrix is the only one there to comfort her.





	Let's Pretend That We are the Same

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](http://femmefest.livejournal.com/107700.html) for HP FemmeFest 2017.
> 
> Title and quote come from _What If_ by Emilie Autumn. Takes place sometime during HBP.

_If you like we could play a game_  
_Let's pretend that we are the same_  
_But you will have to look much closer_  
_Than you do, closer than you do_

The wing-backed chair Narcissa sits in is satin covered, so dark green it’s almost black. A half dozen generations of Malfoys have sat in this same chair, looked out the same window onto the same perfectly manicured lawns. The books that surround her on all side have not even changed much over the years. She’s always thought of the library as a space lost in time, and that’s why she likes it.

The door across the room creaks open, and her heart beats a little faster at the noise, but she doesn’t turn. She knows who it is. Her sister came around late the night before, wild and covered in blood and dirt as she often is these days. There was probably a raid. Again.

Narcissa has avoided her as much as possible, always just exiting a room when Bellatrix was coming in, but she knows she can’t hide forever. She never could when they were girls, and she can’t now, when the stakes are higher and Bellatrix knows more than anyone else how much her heart is breaking over Draco’s fate.

“What is it, Bellatrix?” she says as evenly as possible. She can feel her sister lurking just behind the chair, surprisingly quiet.

There’s nothing but more silence from behind her, and Narcissa considers turning, but she can’t quite bring herself to do it. She’s not sure what she’ll do if she looks Bellatrix in the face right now. Cry, maybe, and her tears have stained her sister’s shoulder enough. At least Bellatrix has never minded it, just held her tight and crooned in her ear, at least in the past. It’s more than her own husband would do for her, could do for her. Especially now.

Bellatrix doesn’t answer, just moves to sit on the floor beside the chair, shoulder pressed against Narcissa’s leg. It’s a position they’ve adopted many times since they were young; Bellatrix had always preferred sitting on the floor, something their mother had never appreciated.

They sit in silence for several minutes before Narcissa realizes she’s crying, the hot tears sliding down her cheek to drip onto her lap. She reaches up to wipe them away, a sob catching in her throat. She tries not to think about why she’s crying.

It’s a shock when Bellatrix reaches up and takes her hand, her own cold fingers locking with Narcissa’s. Something warm blossoms in Narcissa’s chest, burning away her pain for just a moment. It’s closer to what Narcissa remembers of her sister from before Azkaban, from before Bellatrix went mad and left Narcissa all alone. A memory comes to her unbidden, an image of her sister she still clutches close to her heart despite everything that’s happened, everything that’s been said.

_She’s twenty-two and sick, stuck in bed for the past two days from debilitating pain as the healers try to figure out what’s wrong with her and what to do about it. Lucius is at the Ministry, too busy to sit with her, so she expects to be alone. It’s alright, it’s what she’s used to. She thinks the pain is probably all in her head anyway._

_Her last thought before she falls asleep is that pain is the most lonely thing she can imagine._

_The next time she blinks her eyes open, exhausted and confused by fever, there’s someone beside her. There’s a warm weight curled around her hand and she blinks again, trying to focus. Bellatrix’s face swims into view, her curly black hair fighting and winning against the pins holding them it place. Mother would be appalled._

_She smiles, surprised and delighted to see her sister there. Pain isn’t nearly so bad when it’s shared, and now Bellatrix is here to share her’s. Somehow, she thinks, she’ll be fine._

Narcissa blinks back renewed tears, these ones somewhat happier than before. For all that she’s not entirely sure she likes who her sister has become over the years, she’s glad she’s here now. She needs Bellatrix.

Bellatrix coos soothing nonsense at her, leaning down to kiss the back of Narcissa’s hand gently, so gently. She leaves behind a smear red that could be lipstick or blood, and Narcissa has the wild thought that that’s the best representation of Bellatrix she could ever find. She barely holds back the hysterical laughter that bubbles up from somewhere deep in her chest.

“You always cried so pretty,” Bellatrix says, nuzzling at the hand she still holds. Narcissa feels warmth fill her belly, a feeling she hasn’t had in a long time. “Some things just never change, hmm?”

Narcissa gives her a look that makes Bellatrix cackle, a high, almost grating, sound that reminds Narcissa too much of blood and dirt and pain. “Too many things change, I think, and not in the way we would like them to.”

“Ah, but there are still some things for us to hold on to, are there not?”

She rises on her knees, face almost even with Narcissa’s now. Her eyes are so dark and wild that Narcissa thinks she could get lost if she looked in them too long. That is another one of those things that have changed. Her sister has always been wild, but now she is something else, something Narcissa still struggles to recognize sometimes as the sister she’s known all her life.

She tries to think instead about Bellatrix’s words. Are there still things for her to hold onto? She feels like everything is slipping through her fingers, her husband fighting for his social position, her son fighting for his life, her sister just fighting. This room, this pocket of safety and history, sometimes seems the only stability she has.

“You have me, sister, whether you want me or not,” Bellatrix says, and Narcissa looks up to see her closer, only inches away. Their eyes lock and Narcissa feels lost, trapped in a darkness she’s not sure she wants to escape from. “I will always be here for you.”

Bellatrix leans in and kisses her, lips wet and sticky and so, so sweet. Narcissa ignores the blood she knows is there and just closes her eyes, letting herself be lost in this kiss as well. They have not done this for a long time, not since before Bellatrix was sent to Azkaban, when they were as close as two people could be and Bellatrix was sane. It’s almost a relief to breath her in like this.

Some broken part deep inside of her seems to settle as they kiss, perhaps not wholly fixed, but mended somehow, at least for now.

**Author's Note:**

> Concrit welcome. If you like my fic, feel free to come hit me up [on tumblr](http://voldiebuns.tumblr.com/)!


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